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Текст песни Eddie McGuire

Cameron Bruce:
Do you ever phone a friend
When you're feeling blue
And it's easy to pretend
Someone would phone you

All:
Oh Eddie, show us
The way to live
The way to give

Paul McDermott:
Open up our eyes

Cameron:
Eddie, I love you
Anything you do
Eddie, you love you

All:
I know your name
You don't have to tell me twice
I know you're nice
Everything's so black and white
When you're in love with someone who knows all the answers to the

Paul:
Questions that you ask to illuminate your sense in life

Cameron:
Life!

Mick Moriarty:
Life!

Paul:
I have to watch you do this every single Monday night

Cameron:
Night!

Mick:
Night!

All:
I don't want to be a millionaire

Cameron:
So don't ask me

All:
I just want to sit in that chair

Cameron:
Across from Eddie

Paul:
And let me ask the question

All:
Everybody wants to know

Paul:
Are you happy on that show?

All:
Or is there something in your soul that asks for more on
More on more on

Eddie McGuire
You're a Buddha
If we rub your tummy
Will you give us money?
You're the Pope without a frock

Mick:
Mother Theresa with a-

Paul: (spoken)
Whoa!

Mick: (spoken)
-with a flock?

Paul: (spoken)
Oh, flock.

All:
Eddie when you look me in the eye

Cameron:
Do you mean it?

All:
Or are you just looking at the camera guy?

Cameron:
Do you fancy him?

All:
Eddie, you'e my lifeline
My choice in the multiple choice
Oh Eddie we think you're noice

We don't mean to freak you out
But we've been watching through your window
While you shower
Eddie don't close the curtains
It's only us

Cameron:
You can scrub a little bit lower, Eddie

Paul:
And blow the footy rights out your arse

All:
Eddie, we know that you've been bad

Cameron:
Do you mind if I call you dad?

Paul: (spoken)
Come on, Eddie. Accept him as your son. Will you have the paternity test? For God's sake, be a man about it. Even Tony Abbott was a man about it. Even though there was clearly another man about it.

All:
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...
Oh Eddie, do you ever cry?

Cameron:
Do you need me?

All:
Because of you Eddie I would die

Mick:
My pubic hair

Paul: (spoken)
You're freaking 'em out again, Mick. Don't do it, you're freaking 'em out, okay. You smoke too much pot.

Cameron: (spoken)
He does, he does smoke a lot of pot, you know he's only twenty-four and have a look at him.
(sung)
You're my night in shining armour

Paul and Mick:
He's named his testicles after you

Cameron:
Eddie 1 and Eddie 2

All:
We really want to get you off
We really want to get you off
We really want to get you off
We really want to get you off (repeated)
We really really want to get you off
We want to get you off