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Текст песни If I Ever Meet God, I'm Gonna Punch Him In His Face

Almighty God, I'm not impressed
Almighty God, whom have you blessed?
Mr. Deity has done nothing for me
Or anybody else to any measurable degree

I'm quite disgusted with his work thus far
Filled with contempt for our most heavenly saviour
Alleluia, Ave Maria
Attend church and praise him, I've got a much better idea

If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his face
If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his goddamned face

I have no shame to take his name in vain
Because Jehovah Schmehovah causes people so much pain

His incompetence is totally at your expense
He'll send the walls crashing in and never come to your defense

If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his face
If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his goddamned face

A punch in the face is the only answer
For a god who invented cancer
Diphtheria, mumps, and AIDS
And then I hear someone say "God saves"?

I'm not impressed with his amazing grace
I'll give thanks to God with a big fat punch in the face

If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his face
If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his goddamned face

Epilepsy, syphilis, polio, In God We trust
Asthma, lupo, chicken pox, I'm no longer Orthodox

Colon cancer, bromidrosis, pyriases, tuberculosis
Bow your head and say a prayer
To a useless God who doesn't care

If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his face
If I ever meet God, I'm gonna punch him in his goddamned face