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There's nobody less rock 'n' roll than me 
I can't get drunk, I can't do drugs 
I've got no street credibility 
I'm a telly tubby, a tubby teddy 
When my centre spread is loved and fed 
I'm comletely happy 
Call the police, I feel I've been fleeced 
I can't get liad, I can't do raves 
I'm all respectability 
I'm a trifle pathetic and I'm not very brave 
For the sake of health, I shit myself 
and run the other way 
But there's a place where I can go 
To get off my face when I feel low 
A hell shaped room without a view 
Whefre I can be when I'm with you 
There's a place thats in my bed 
Its in my heart and in my head 
Theres a way for me to go 
When I'm feeling rock 'n' roll.......rock and roll 
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